And I'll offer up a different view.
If my wife were to inquire constantly about that sort of thing, I'd stop talking to her about it altogether. She already knows about most of the ladies in whom I'm interested and already knows most of the times I meet somebody for lunch or dinner or whatever. If she were to constantly inquire as to whether I got laid each time, I'd be resenting that intrusion in short order.
In short, it's none of her business how many times I fuck any particular person.
If she's not there, the details aren't her business. Whether I share dinner and visit a museum with somebody else or simply hook up and fuck like bunnies, it's really not her business. She knows that I do see other people and that I do have sex with other people--that part is her business. Beyond that, not so much.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.