Originally Posted by YGirl
The established couple may have rules that apply to THEIR relationship, but they shouldn't have rules that pre-emptively dictate how their OTHER relationship(s) unfold and evolve.
The same thing re: the "prospective third". "They" may want to have rules about the relationship(s) THEY are in, but they don't get to dictate, "You two need to be / cannot be [a certain way] when you're together so that I can feel secure."
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.