Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion
It is not a given...this is a worser case scenario...but it is possible. There is no reason in my mind why an established couple would be 'silly' to ensure some rules were in place to mitigate that risk.
It still seems silly to me. If the couple is taking care of "Us" and is also taking care of the children--at all times, as a constant--then that care will always be operating and nothing more needs to be done to make certain that "Us" and the children are taken care of. If that "Us" is strong and functional, nothing else need be done.
And if that care of "Us" isn't happening as a constant, then no amount of rules or boundaries is capable of saving it. I do believe it really is that simple. You either nurture your relationships or you don't. The former protects them from essentially everything and the latter means they're unlikely to prosper regardless of any props or crutches.
And I swear my reading glasses are not rose-colored....
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.