Right I'll try to answer this but I'm still learning all the terms so bear with me!
Apologies have all been made for things in the past. B and me seem to be the ones with trust issues - me over Mrs and A, and B over me spending time with J. B is very emotionally closed and reluctant to talk so its hard to tell what he wants. As for me I am managing. A and Mrs have gotten very close recently and I am happy for them, despite how I sounded before.
By polyship I assume you mean the seperate relationships correct? Me and Mrs are both seeing J as a secondary. B and J are together as primaries. We would like to see B but are unsure where he stands. Mrs is also seeing A and J is also seeing S but those relationships are separate to the main foursome. Me, Mrs and J all know where we stand with each other in terms of primary and secondary. A, S and anyone else are all tertiary or sexual partners.
Is a metamour someone who only sees the one partner? In that case S is J's metamour, and A is Mrs's. J's relationships are closed - she only wants to see the people she is. B is swinging, while me and Mrs count our relationship as open.
By swingset I assume you mean who are our swinging partners? P+O have been seen by both me+Mrs and B+J, and they also play with others. L+M are being seen by me+Mrs, but are presumably looking to see others as well. G is just seeing J, but they have yet to have sex and are not seeing anyone else apart from J's other relationships. Condoms are used with all partners by me, Mrs, J and B.
As I said this situation has all sort of evolved since last November, and I agree it is a bit of a tangled mess! Hence why I'm after any advice.
Hope I've clarified it a bit!
Bio in Brief: Me and Mrs open and swinging. Mrs also seeing A. Recent relationship breakdown with J and B.