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Old 10-02-2012, 02:20 AM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

So it's been a really long time since I posted again. I've just been all caught up in living life and haven't had a lot of time on the computer at all. Derby has been keeping me really busy this summer and with an undefeated season I'm pretty proud of us. I had a lot of new friends come and see my last game of the season. I missed my loves there though. My husband was away working and RP had a show of her own that night (which I was very sad to have missed).

It seems that as a group we're finding more friends who fit with us the way we are. Poly is big enough to have a place for everyone to fit in. There was a time where it seemed that I had to be friends with every poly person that I met because they were such a rarity but that approach seems really forced and doesn't work in the long term. In reality there are people that I'm just going to have more in common with than others and there's nothing wrong with that. I do enjoy conversations with most of the poly community but I don't feel any drive to try to push for more than that.

You would think that being poly and being open to romatic relationships developping as they will that there would be less of a need to force friendships that aren't based on anything deeper than relationship structure. I also find that it matters less if my friends are poly or not. I like people for who they are and as long as they can be ok with me for who I am then we're good.

RP has a fairly recent addition to her life. I'm surprised that I feel very little in the way of jealousy. He's a good guy and I like him (and his wife and their child). They just seem to fit, there isn't any friction there. It's nice. I do worry sometimes that RP isn't going to have time for me though, 4 relationships are a lot to balance and since I'm neither a live in partner or the latest partner it's a worry. RP hasn't done or said anything to indicate that I'm any less important to her. That's all I'm going to say on the topic at the moment since I haven't talked to her about these feelings yet. (Don't worry RP, I'm alright, not in a panic or anything ).

I just came back from a Sci Fi convention in another city. I enjoy socializing there. There are people there that I just wouldn't come across in my day to day life. Plus costumes are totally the thing to do and I love dress up! I'm looking forward to a much more quiet weekend this weekend though and I plan on being kinder to my liver! Before the weekend away I spent a week out of town for work. Somehow that equaled drinks with coworkers every night. I'm not used to one or 2 drinks every day, I don't do well with it after about 3 days.

My world is plugging along very nicely. I'm happy and at peace. I was feeling the need a while ago to go out on some dinner dates with new people and I might still do it although there doesn't seem to be that pressing desire anymore. I know I was just looking for approval from strangers. I shouldn't need that outside validation. The feeling comes and goes, right now it's not there. I will have to pay better attention next time it happens to see if I can figure out why.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
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