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Old 10-01-2012, 06:44 PM
Vicki82 Vicki82 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Niagara Falls, NY
Posts: 208

No, my husband has not read the blog entries and in fact has no details, per his request. We don't have DADT but he prefers I manage my relationship on my own. He is fine with me having one but he doesn't want to be involved. Hence, he understands L's wife's perspective pretty well. All H knows is that he saw me shaking, asked me what was wrong, and said that if the sub was reading then of course I should understand why he wrote what he did. I do not share relationship details with him unless asked. I think he had a hard enough time seeing the effect that my discussion with L was having on me. It is one thing for him to know I am in love with another man; it's another to see it.

I don't know yet from his perspective why he asked me to read those posts. I can only surmise from past discussions that it is because he is comfortable with me and trusts me, and I'm the only one he can share everything with. I'm willing to give him some leeway that this was just a stupid mistake and he didn't realize it, but I'll wait and see what he says in reply to my email. I honestly can't see him having base motivations for doing so.

I can understand that it looks bad on his end without the details. All I can do is say that in this case, I am very sure he is not cheating.

Am I happy with DADT? No. I wish we could have a "normal" secondary relationship. I wish I could call and be at least cordial with his wife if she answered the phone. I'm not all that interested in meeting/getting to know the sub, frankly. I have never been jealous of his wife, but I do experience jealousy when it comes to his sub. But in any case, his wife's needs trump mine and I get that. Would I be willing to continue long term in the DADT framework? Yes. I truly value our relationship and having him in my life. My H tells me he has never seen me happier.

I just hate waiting to resolve things. I never sleep well when I am stressed about major things in my life, and we're now going on day two of not enough sleep. I tend to get overwhelmed when things are unresolved.
Me: 34 yrs, poly pansexual Dominant female.
My People:
Henry, 30yrs, my collared submissive, cohabitating. Currently no other partners.
Kiddo, my 6 year old son
Mark/StbxH, my exhusband of ten years, finally divorced.

Last edited by Vicki82; 10-01-2012 at 06:47 PM.
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