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Old 10-01-2012, 04:18 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 604
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Yes, Miss Indie, I know it, but 'the world' sometimes doesn't seem to be able to see it. But your comment made me smile as well, so thanks for that.

We have had another rough encounter on the 'coming out' front. Or better: a 'being outed' evening. Sward and I have been asked to help with a 73rd birthday and as his back and especially leg are worsening again, Lin filled in for him. He wouldn't have been able to stand and walk the whole evening. And I didn't thought much of this change. Well, I could have thought twice about it, as it was the birthday of 'our queen' (shooting association).

We didn't talk much about our relationship and weren't planning on starting something in that direction as those people are the friends of my parents and sister and just told them, that Lin was Sward's and my roommate. Most were satisfied with that and asked some more questions about his origins, as his dialect is quite notable. And suddenly a woman from my mother's table says to me: “Do we have to talk some, Phy? I am hearing all kind of things about your 'wild life'!” I was a bit surprised and made a university related joke but she was serious and later that evening we talked.

Ah dear, I tend to get comfy too fast and too soon. It wasn't so much what she said that upset me but my own reaction to it, that unnerved me a bit. Luckily I was able to just end on a 'I understand that you aren't able to understand my feelings' note but I was a bit disappointed. I feel so at home right now and so protected, secure, loved … that I can't really relate to those more negative mindsets easily anymore. Why can't people just believe you that you are happy? And, more especially, that the people around you are happy?

Because Sward has been her main concern. How dare I do this to him? I wasn't respecting him any longer or the vows we made. I was hurting him and his 'male ego' by living with two men. Because male egos are different from female ones, we are able to cope but men aren't. (Uhg-hm. She got my piece of mind on that one.) I had missed something, Sward hasn't been able to provide me with what I needed. Which one do I love right now? Why am I hurting those two/mainly Sward like that? There has to be something wrong with me. I was turning the 'roles' around and claiming a male position. Why did I register on dating sides? (That there was something besides dating sides on the net where you can meet people was totally unimaginable for her.) Some more points that won't come to mind right now, but the list went on.

Well, the most disturbing aspect was that my mother was the one who told everyone about us. And not on the best note. I was confused and confronted her. Why talk about it if she was uncomfortable with talking about it? Apparently the question has been raised, who Lin was and she felt more comfortable with attacking than denial. Half of the truth wouldn't have hurt anyone, but if she thinks so … her problem from now on. I normally don't get in touch with those people. But there is a bad aftertaste in this case.
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Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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