Realising things about this are key to help us grow. Sometimes it is re-evaluating previously-held beliefs.
Realising that her being mono and you being not-mono is a big step, because it means that instead of trying to "convert her" to think like you do, you are shifting your focus towards accepting her for who she is, respecting her, and working on exploring whether she can accept you for the way you are.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb