Hello PinkRose, I am sorry to hear you are feeling heartbroken. I hope your heart will heal soon.
From my own life, I have come to see that jealousy comes from the fear of abandonment, that the person will forever lose the object of their affection. In a relationship where two people love and trust each other completely, jealousy cannot exist because of the absolute confidence that you will never be abandoned, no matter what. From what you've shared, it seems your husband is afraid of losing you to the man you are interested in. If you really want to continue to see the man, you will have to somehow reassure and convince your husband that you would never forsake him. But this is not an easy task. Society equates jealousy with love, and lack of jealousy with lack of affection. In the end, wisdom is knowing what you can change and what you cannot. Another person's attitude, another person's heart - this is not something one cannot change easily, if at all. And in the end, at the death's doorstep when all is said and done, we will each have our own life with which we will be happy or disappointed. So ultimately, this is about you. It's your life. It's your happiness. Familiarity may make you feel comfortable but stale. Changes can be scary but exhilarating. It is not true that any relationship is better than none. The longer you stay in a relationship that hurts you and stifles your personal growth, the more precious time you lose in finding a truly fulfilling relationship. Please understand that I am not at all advocating you leave your husband. No, I am simply saying that your life is yours to control. Everyone must take charge of his own happiness, whether it involves someone else or not. Life is simply too short to be wasted in regrets and what-ifs. I wish you the best, good luck!