View Single Post
Old 09-30-2012, 06:02 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

He's lying to her and not allowing her to make her own decision regarding sexual health risk. Even in a D/s situation this is not okay (I'm not part of that scene but TGIB is). If he was really being a good Dom to her he'd explain the actual situation to her and be teacher and caretaker while she takes the time to decide if this is a situation she wants to stay in. Subs still ultimately have a choice, and he's denying her that choice. I don't care where they are in their relationship, because he IS using that "control of the flow of information" to hide something, and you can't build a good relationship of ANY kind if there isn't trust on all sides.

What he's doing to you is also unfair and hurtful. You're not overreacting. There are certainly family that do not know about me and TGIB, and I have a hard enough time with that, but ALL our friends know. If they can't accept it, we don't want them as friends. If he wasn't willing to acknowledge my presence in his life in a non-family, non-work situation, we'd be done. It's not about creating or avoiding drama, it's about living your life as honestly as possible with the people you've chosen to be close with (this is why I admit family is a gray area- you haven't chosen them, you're not always close, but the interconnections can make it difficult to navigate). And I feel you're quite right to question how much you trust him and whether he'd be willing to lie to you to keep the peace, since he's willing to lie to her. I wish you luck in deciding how to deal with your hurt and your relationship with him.
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
Reply With Quote