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Old 09-29-2012, 03:09 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I find this thread rather interesting. Although I like to participate in a few kinky things now and again, I am generally not into BDSM nor identify as a kinkster (as in, gotta have kink no matter what). I don't really like the term "vanilla" but some members here told me it's more like I'm "vanilla with sprinkles," LOL. In addition, I don't apply a hierarchy to my relationships, which are mostly loose and more casual - no partnership/boyfriend/spouse type thing.

Anyway, what I find interesting in this thread is your question about feeling jealousy if a primary is doing stuff with someone else but not you, if it's something that you want to do with them. I just don't see myself sharing at that level. It's enough for me to know my lovers are having sex with other people; I don't need the specifics, and wouldn't imagine asking unless there was a definite reason to know. I don't feel weird asking things like if a lover wants me to use a certain technique to do something, and I wouldn't mind talking about what they are up to with others, per se, but I certainly wouldn't seek out the info, or feel like I had to be informed at all times. Maybe this is more of a thing for hierarchical relationships?
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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