Originally Posted by SNeacail
I see two totally separate issues.
1. Maca has issues hearing about your sex life with GG and ALWAYS has
2. You have issues with Maca's interest in the 20's something twit.
I think your issues with the 20 something are escalating things, that would be an issue in any case. Personally, I see nothing wrong with his text. As soon as I read the blog post, I was wondering how Maca would deal with reading that much detail. I give him kudos for recognizing that this is setting him off, giving you a heads up and realizing this is his to work through. I would have a discussion with him and ask if next time he wants a heads up to avoid that post or not, or together you can come up with a code or something where he can decide to read or avoid based on his mood at the time.
I personally can deal much better with emotional triggers, if I have some warning. I have sent similar texts (about other issues), and then been able to have a rational discussion about it later. Being able to express these triggers without fear of a massive explosion, is extremely helpful. It also helps me work through things and it doesn't bother me so much the next time. Sometimes, it is the tiny small things that we can do differently that can make all the difference in the world.
Not going to address the issues with the 20 something gf. "If you can't say anything nice..." Eventually, the blinders will come off, just stand your ground in the meantime.
I agree, the text itself wasn't a big deal-that he chose to read the blog even though he DID have warning and new what it was about-that's on him.
But, I don't mind him sending me those types of texts per se-I DO however have an issue with the fact that he tells me shit that he knows is going to trigger me-and then pulls the 'I'm too emotional because of something else' card. DON"T FUCKING BRING UP TRIGGER TOPICS IF YOU ARE ALREADY NOT OK. That's NOT reasonable communication behavior. That is intentionally manipulative and destructive behavior.
One issue at a time, if you want to talk about HER-then we discuss her and if you want to discuss HIM then we discuss him. But, don't bring up her and then tell me that we aren't discussing it because you are feeling triggered by the topic of HIM.
And-of course-it only results in neither of us getting shit for sleep-and spending the following day (today) arguing through it all anyway. UGH UGH U GH UGH .