Time for a Fix....
Iíve been aware for a while that one of the issues that we have with the blogs here is that they often only contain the negatives, baggage, and agony of people unloading their problems, issues, concerns whenever they hit a low point in their poly journey. And it makes sense...when things are bad, people need to vent. When things are well, isnít it just more pleasant to bask in the afterglow rather than write about it? I donít see it being a general trend that is liable to be reversed anytime soon, and I canít promise that this blog would be any different, but I figure I can at least try to buck the trend a bit.
In terms of a poly context...I should say things are going fine. I donít know if that part really counts since Iím still running mono at the moment...but I keep reminding myself about the toasters. (You donít get a toaster by bringing people into poly) Similarly, itís not like anyone will take away my poly card for being quite satisfied with just one partner for a while.
At this point I think Iím comfortable figuring that itís very likely that poly is an option for me, not a necessity. I lived long enough as a good little mono to know I have the self-control to suppress my baser urges and my wife was perfect for me that I wasnít lacking for anything that couldnít have been found amoung friends of the not so intimate variety. Indeed the complications of dating was something I was never good at when I was single...so how insane would I have to be to seek it out again! Especially when itís so far from the norm as to push an already difficult process into the realm of the absurd?!
No. I donít need poly. But I do wantz it! I choose poly, very deliberately, as part of my life. I like having the freedom to allow relationships to develop without the artificial restrictions that I used to place on them. I like the freedom to not be the all singing all dancing one man band for my partner(s). (Especially dancing, I never understood why someone who said she loved me, seemed to think I should humiliate myself in public by imitating a deformed road kill chicken going through shock therapy!) And like any fool should, having tasted freedom, I have no intention of going back to a world without. (Bwaaawk!)
Yet, Iím in no rush to find more partners. I keep an eye out, and occasionally message some possibilities, but Iím not invested in making anything happen. Which for the most part, is far more relaxing.
So mostly, Iíve been finding polyís or people open to it who have not yet come around to the local communities. Sometimes people just need to know someone before showing up in a room full of strangers to talk about intimacy...I can digg it. Thereís still no toasters, but like the forum, I prefer to do what I can to make the community stronger. And I keep my friends, and keep trying to make new ones, but try to keep it free of intention or expectation of anything more. Less disappointment, and less pressure, more enjoyment. Rawk on! Itís the first time in a while Iíve have friends that I think about when Iím away doing other things, whom I look forward to seeing again after a time, and perhaps most telling is friends who reach out to me once in a while, and seem just as eager to see me. Perhaps a little thing, but the difference it makes to me, isnít.
Ok, so not spectacular, exciting, paint the town red kind of stuff, but also not something that I have to put up a disclaimer about putting away sharp objects before reading either.