[ImaginaryIllusion]

I’ve been aware for a while that one of the issues that we have with the blogs here is that they often only contain the negatives, baggage, and agony of people unloading their problems, issues, concerns whenever they hit a low point in their poly journey. And it makes sense...when things are bad, people need to vent. When things are well, isn’t it just more pleasant to bask in the afterglow rather than write about it? I don’t see it being a general trend that is liable to be reversed anytime soon, and I can’t promise that this blog would be any different, but I figure I can at least try to buck the trend a bit.

In terms of a poly context...I should say things are going fine. I don’t know if that part really counts since I’m still running mono at the moment...but I keep reminding myself about the toasters. (You don’t get a toaster by bringing people into poly) Similarly, it’s not like anyone will take away my poly card for being quite satisfied with just one partner for a while.

At this point I think I’m comfortable figuring that it’s very likely that poly is an option for me, not a necessity. I lived long enough as a good little mono to know I have the self-control to suppress my baser urges and my wife was perfect for me that I wasn’t lacking for anything that couldn’t have been found amoung friends of the not so intimate variety. Indeed the complications of dating was something I was never good at when I was single...so how insane would I have to be to seek it out again! Especially when it’s so far from the norm as to push an already difficult process into the realm of the absurd?!

No. I don’t need poly. But I do wantz it! I choose poly, very deliberately, as part of my life. I like having the freedom to allow relationships to develop without the artificial restrictions that I used to place on them. I like the freedom to not be the all singing all dancing one man band for my partner(s). (Especially dancing, I never understood why someone who said she loved me, seemed to think I should humiliate myself in public by imitating a deformed road kill chicken going through shock therapy!) And like any fool should, having tasted freedom, I have no intention of going back to a world without. (Bwaaawk!)

Yet, I’m in no rush to find more partners. I keep an eye out, and occasionally message some possibilities, but I’m not invested in making anything happen. Which for the most part, is far more relaxing.

So mostly, I’ve been finding poly’s or people open to it who have not yet come around to the local communities. Sometimes people just need to know someone before showing up in a room full of strangers to talk about intimacy...I can digg it. There’s still no toasters, but like the forum, I prefer to do what I can to make the community stronger. And I keep my friends, and keep trying to make new ones, but try to keep it free of intention or expectation of anything more. Less disappointment, and less pressure, more enjoyment. Rawk on! It’s the first time in a while I’ve have friends that I think about when I’m away doing other things, whom I look forward to seeing again after a time, and perhaps most telling is friends who reach out to me once in a while, and seem just as eager to see me. Perhaps a little thing, but the difference it makes to me, isn’t.

Ok, so not spectacular, exciting, paint the town red kind of stuff, but also not something that I have to put up a disclaimer about putting away sharp objects before reading either.