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Old 12-14-2009, 01:45 PM
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nikkiana nikkiana is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 164

Don't mind me.... I'm just dumping out parts of my story in not-so-chronological order as I feel like talking about them.

So.... How'd I end up in NYC....

Work wise, I'm a front end web developer mainly specializing in work that involves the open source content management system Drupal. The majority of my career I've worked from home. I worked for a couple of small web dev shops that's workers were spread out all over the world. This is par the course for many people who work with Drupal. I'm having a difficult time finding the words to explain, but I guess in general, people who meet through the Drupal development community tend to become really good friends, and people who've worked together either at the same company or on the the same project together and end up having good working relationships with each other tend to bond and stick together and want to work with each other more. We tend to start out as online friends working on the same project, we all meet in person at various Drupal related conferences and events and learn a lot and party hard, and stick together basically. It's a very networked together kind of group.

So, basically, that's how I met my current boss. She and I worked together at the second web dev shop I worked at for about four or six months (I can't remember now) and we worked really well together, she lived in NY and I was in NH and I came down to a few Drupal events in NY and stayed with her so we became good friends. At our old dev shop, we did a few projects for the company we both currently work for and she ended up being approached for a job there and left, and within a few months ended up in charge of the dept I now I work in... Meanwhile, I was beginning to not to so great at that dev shop... They were nice people, but my working style just didn't seem to gel well with anyone else there once she was gone.... Frusterated with the situation and not sure what to do, I vented to her and she offered me work on the spot. At first, I came on as a freelancer. To go full time, I'd have to move to NY, and while I would have dropped everything and done that, DH wasn't into that idea... so I stayed put in NH. My boss would every so often remind me that I could come on full time if I moved to NY, but I always declined.

Every so often I'd get bored with working at home, so I'd come down for a week and stay with my boss and her poodle the size of her apartment and work from the office. It was nice to be around other people who did the same sort of work as me, and in general gave me a better feel for the projects I was working on, plus... it's just fun to be in the city and be among friends. It was isolating working from home.

Last May was one such time... I decided to come on a trip to NY because another friend from the Drupal community that I hadn't worked with but had become somewhat friendly with was having his 30th birthday party celebation, and if I could expense a trip... why the hell not?

This was the trip that changed everything.

It was a whirlwind of activity. I was working like crazy. There were other people who are on our team that work remotely in town at the time, so it seemed like every night we were out and about and partying. I felt like I bonded with the people I worked with a lot more in this trip than in previous ones.

And.... outside of work (I guess... kind of?).... I met JD in person.

As mentioned in the cast of characters, JD and I met originally because we worked together. We worked together the most at the first web dev shop I worked at... He worked briefly at the one I'd worked at with my current boss... We worked together at his own failed attempt at a web shop... but somehow when we were actually working together, we never met in person. He had just moved to NYC, and expressed interest in getting together to finally meet when I said I was going to be in town. We talked all week, every night saying we'd do something and then he'd back out... The last night I was going to be in town, he admitted that he was totally broke so that's why he kept backing out. I told him to knock it off, I was taking him out to dinner.

It ended up being one of those evenings that kinda blindsides you with how it went... We went out to dinner and started drinking and started discussing just about everything that had happened in the three years we'd known each other online. We talked about the bad times at work (we went through some pretty stressful stuff together), we talked about what was going on at home concurrently with that. We talked about his divorce. We talked about my open relationship. Dinner ended, and we still weren't done so we ended up going back to his place, continuting the discussion, ended up watching a movie and ended up in bed.

Yeah.... I wasn't expecting that!

In retrospect, it was kind of a bizzarre experience. While I was (and am) certainly attracted to JD, the energy between us has never really been romantic per se.... more like long lost kindred spirits finding each other.

The next morning, I had to go to work and then at the end of the day bus back to NH.... and it was quite literally one of the hardest days to get through. I did NOT want to go home. When it was time to say goodbye at the end of the day, I was bawling my eyes out. I did not want to get back on that bus. I wanted to be back in that office the next Monday.

When people ask me why I moved here, I always say the job, the job, the job. It's not exactly a lie, it certainly is what made it possible... but for me, it was the friends... most of which happen to be or have been coworkers.... and it would be a bold face lie to say that JD didn't tip the scale firmly in favor of moving (despite the fact that I hate admitting that... I feel silly for it, in fact).

To be continued....
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