Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
"Another way to look at it... sexual energy is a shared resource in a serious partnership, in a way, and to a certain degree it's also a limited one -- you've pointed this out, in terms of him being too worn out for intimacy with you. One analogy could be to money, if that's not too crass. If you were sharing finances, and he was making investments or major purchases, surely it wouldn't be too much to ask to be kept abreast. You dont need to know his every flirtation or his every minor expense, but when he's sharing his body with others and then sharing it with you? Yes, it's perfectly ok and normal to want to know that, imho."
Originally Posted by GalaGirl
"I do need to know what could affect what you and I do together. For energy/tiredness and emotional/mental health.
If you ran around theme parking and then marathon sexing with your other partner yesterday -- you are pooped today. Do I want to be with you today then and be all low key so you can rest or is OUR date better a few days later so WE can go theme parking and marathon sexing?
If you tell me you had a big ol' fight? I can then go into spending time with you prepared for emotional stuff. But I don't need to hold the emotional bag and your grumpy if I don't want to go there.
I'm not trying to restrict YOU. I want to know how to best spend MY time. "
THANK YOU AnnabelMore and GalaGirl, for putting words to something I have been thinking, but not quite able to verbalize for a while now. THANK YOU!
The sexual health stuff goes without saying. But while love is limitless, time and *energy*, including sexual energy, are most definitely not. This goes for the *emotional energy* of sex as well.
You have given me a lot to think about. Thanks again - putting what you said into words just wasn't working for me, and now I get it.