Thread: Vicki's Journey
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Old 09-28-2012, 02:41 AM
Vicki82 Vicki82 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Niagara Falls, NY
Posts: 197

I'm still feeling so lonely lately. I know that we got over the major hurdle about his wife's health, but there is still so much going on in his life right now and it's hard for me to handle. Work is still killing him, and it will until he gets used to his new position and hires another guy to take some of the load off. No ETA there.

And then there's the renovations, which aren't expected to be complete until mid November. Between those things, we're not talking nearly as much as we were and it sounds like it won't be possible for us to see each other until the renos are done. He's working long days at work, then coming home and he doesn't stop until maybe ten at night, and he needs to get some sleep before he starts it all over again. He really doesn't have time for me right now even if I took the train to see him.

It just hurts. That will be nine more weeks. I don't know how I can go twelve weeks without seeing him. I hate LD, but recognize that isn't entirely the problem here; he's just going through a really busy time in his life. He has asked me to be patient and I really want to be understanding, but it's just so hard. When it starts to feel overwhelming, I get a little bit of why do I have to feel this way about him cropping up because I don't want to hurt.

I just feel so frustrated. There's really nothing I can do about it and it makes me feel unhappy. And I get mad at myself because I know he misses me and wants to see me too and he really can't, so all I am doing is making it worse for him too. I kick myself when I'm being too self centred and remind myself that he's the one subsisting on 5 hours of sleep a night and working around the clock, so I know he isn't happy now either and is waiting for this to end. But I fucking hate it.
Me: 33 yrs, poly pansexual Dominant female.
My People: Mark/StbxH, my husband of ten years, now separated for 18 months with no desire of reconciliation.
Henry, 29yrs, my collared submissive, dating for 2 years and cohabitating for 1 year. Currently no other partners.
Kiddo, my 6 year old son
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