Okay, my dearly beloved polypeeps, here's a truly unique and very sensitive situation a poly family I know are facing, and I would like to get some input from some of the advanced polyfolks here. This is definitely not Polyamory 101.
First: Let me say straight up I am not one of the people immediately involved, although my life will be impacted beause I know and love many of the people who are involved.
Here's the sitch: The polyfamily in question is a poly-fi MFM V (let's call them Peter, Mary and Paul). The arrangement is essentially two married households, with Mary being the wife in each. The households are in different states. When she's in one place, she's Mrs. Peter; in the other, Mrs. Paul. Neither marriage is recognized as 100% legit in the eyes of the government (although common law applies in the case of Mary and Paul, as Mary has taken Paul's name). There are minor children in one home, Mary's and Paul's by previous relationships.
Peter, Paul and Mary are completely open and honest with each other. Peter and Paul are, in fact, close friends. And the three of them work in the same large company, occasionally on the same projects. Some of their family members are aware of the situation, as are a few of their friends. For the most part, though, Peter Paul and Mary are in the closet. And absolutely no one they do business with knows the score. This arrangement has been working for them for a number of years. Everyone is healthy and happy. Everyone needs are being met.
So far so good, right? Well, here's the rub:
Mary's mother is now dating one of the VIP's at the company. Peter's boss, to be specific; a powerful and influential man with a reputation for valuing honesty and personal integrity very highly. And thing's are looking serious between the two of them. There is scuttlebutt around the water cooler of a wedding possibility. Mom is fully in on the poly arrangement, and on the decision to keep it on the down-low. And she's been discreet about it. But if she and the BigBoss develop a long-term relationship, it seems increasingly likely that he will uncover the truth, say at Christmas or Easter or somebody's birthday. (Keep in mind that, for instance, Mom has grandchildren through Mary that BB at this point doesn't know exist, as he only knows her as Peter's wife).
If they let BB in on the secret, they may well do serious harm to their careers. If he finds out on his own, they are sure the fecal matter will strike the ventilation system.
So the question is: what should Peter, Paul and Mary do?
Real head-scratcher, isn't it?