Originally Posted by CattivaGattina
During this time I also ended up in the hospital due to a suicide attempt and hit what was my breaking point the Friday after I got out (when he and I were supposed to have a date but I invited her along as well since I hadn't seen her since I was in the hospital; she lived a good hour and a half away; and ended up feeling like I was intruding on their date).
Peaseblossum still has some reservations but mostly due to the fact that she's still trying to decide if this is something she wants long term or just for now.
So how did/do you get over that fear to actually not worry about what others may do to you?
I just want to post a question addressing statements before your question (I am out to everybody so I don't worry about that so much however I DID just have a situation today where I ran into my exes coworkers who were openly surprised we were friends - if we hadn't been poly, we probably wouldn't still be friends...nevertheless I still have trouble wrapping my head around the fact that even being friendly with an ex is such a "OMG big weird deal" to the mainstream in Seattle...so I can somewhat empathize. I had to avoid discussing poly and all with one of his new employers today because I was aware many people have issues with being open, and I hadn't talked that out with my ex to know what he'd feel OK with, though it is natural to me to be open.
Unless I'm misreading it, you invited her along to a time which was YOUR DATE with him. Was he put upon to this add on to your date? Was she put upon with the "fuck this is a date now I feel totally awkward"? Were you thinking it would be a date at some point but it didn't' work out because you invited a third party? Is she totally OK with the fact that what she thought was a "visiting a bf's stressed suicidal friend" was enough of an awkward moment you'd reference in the future when retelling your history on a random poly forum? Were you totally aware that you'd just tried to commit suicide so it would be weird for everyone anyway?
Peaseblossum ...it sounds like everybody is open to trying a happily ever after except for her, who is still unsure if this will work for her. Is there anything in particular, a group living situation she isnt interested in, or a certain preferred dynamic you 5 want that isn't her thing? What does it mean for you and your relationships if its NOT right for her?