I'm really trying to take Galagirls example and put it to good use.
I've written out a lot of my own thoughts/needs and limits in my diary and shared much of it with him. He's getting a heavy dose of "wow, that's who my wife is" I think. But, its been good.
Now, it's just a matter of upholding those limits. It does help (a lot) when he's backing me up. I hope he sticks to that. It's hard when he's upset with me over my limits and the two of them gang up on me. Especially when I'm trying to hard to be clear with myself about where *I* end and where *HE* begins, and keep my boundaries and limits about me.