So. Stressed. Out.
We leave for South America in 2 days, and I have so much to do and no time to do it in!!
I haven't been able to see Moonlight as much as I would like, so we've been having long (like 3 hours long!) phone calls instead, and I've really been enjoying them. When we're together, we really have a hard time keeping our hands off each other.
Talking on the phone has allowed us to get to know each other more, and have some serious discussions about our relationship and where she fits in my life, and what that will look like when I get back from my trip. I'm spending the night at her house tonight, for a long goodbye. I'm fairly certain I'll be useless tomorrow at work.
Punk canceled our movie date last week, and this week I'm just too busy to see him. With all that's gone on between us the last 6 months or so, coupled with the fact that Moonlight would rather I not see people other than Fly and herself, I've pretty much decided that Punk and I are done, romantically and sexually. I'm hoping to salvage our friendship. He and I talked about it a little over text, and I don't think he's that surprised or sad about it. We're going to get together in November when I come home, but really we both know it's time. It's a little bittersweet - he provided love and affection during a time in my life when I really needed it.
I want to be clear that Moonlight did not demand or push me to end things with Punk. She stated her preference, and I took that into account, along with all the other factors involved. It was time to close down the relationship aspect between Punk and I, but I just sort of let it dangle until Moonlight provided the motivation to be clean and fair.
I'm somewhat relieved to settle down with just my two loves. It's hard enough to feel like I'm meeting both their needs, and my own needs. I jokingly told Fly that I want to renovate our garage into a MIL house so Moonlight can just live with us instead of 20 miles away. He thought she might object to living with the chickens (we're planning to turn part of the garage into a chicken coop this winter).
In 36 hours I'll be on a plane, and I won't be back until Halloween!! I'm so excited to go, but I hate the thought of leaving Moonlight for so long. It's the first time I've ever been conflicted about going on vacation.