Maybe his ego has taken a hit. I doubt it, though. I think he's really just frustrated as far as that part goes, or perhaps he feels like he needs those outings to get away from me and how I've been recently. That'd be ironic, given what put me in that mood.
GG, you do a lot of editing. lol. I often check posts on my phone prior to having time to reply, and it seems like every time I come back, your posts have grown.
I'm going to just try to answer these in order, whenever I feel like something needs a response, because the newbie is sitting next to me requiring attention every couple of minutes and I don't have the patience to cut this into quotes. I apologize if it seems ramble-y.
Poor communication is usually a problem on my end. This is new to me, him being unresponsive.
Not making concrete plans is not. He has never promised me that he would be somewhere or do something. Not once, because he does not like to make promises he can not be sure he will keep. He wouldn't promise to be somewhere by a certain time, for instance, in case he got a flat tire. So this is not new to me. However, I do think things like when he schedules dates are well within his control and should not fall under that.
He has only skipped aftercare in the form of a night between once. However, he knew what he was doing, evidenced by him coming home and telling me I was going to be upset with him, and proceeding to tell me he was going out the next night.
Today is actually supposed to be our date night. We'll see how it goes.
He is using protection for intercourse. He is not concerned about oral and seems to think I shouldn't be, either.
He does help with the baby.
We're not particularly spiritual people, so I wouldn't know what to say about that.
On the isolation, there are only so many places we can go with an infant, or at least that I am comfortable going to with him. Not really an abundance of smoke-free, baby-friendly, cheap places in Vegas.
Not being able to deal with my negativity was in response to me asking if I should leave. It was part of him saying that it was pretty much up to me and whether or not I thought I could make improvements.
I'll mention here that for about 2 weeks, minus 2-3 days around my birthday, I was pretty down. I didn't feel motivated to do anything, so I didn't. I could hardly communicate, I didn't want to be around anyone, I had complete apathy a good portion of the time as to whether or not the baby was upset and pretty much only tended to him because I knew the feelings were temporary and I love him and know that leaving him to cry is not good for him and not what I want to do. But, at the time, I had no desire to do so. In this time period is when I sent him the suggestion to consider closing, and he said he'd think about it.
About a week ago is when I started feeling better. Now it's been about 4 or 5 days since he started acting all down. (My schedule currently is a bit screwy, so my time-keeping abilities are a little out of whack. I couldn't tell you what conversations we've had on what days for the last week right now.)
I forgot where I was going with that.
Most of the time I actually do feel appreciated. He thanks me for everyday, mundane things. Cooking dinner, minding the baby, rubbing his back, etc.
I'll look over that link.
I'll probably call her tomorrow morning since he and I are supposed to spend the day together today. I'll just let her know how I'm feeling and see what my options are and figure out what I want to do from there.
WH, as far as I know, all he is usually spending on these dates is gas money. There are a lot of free things to do in Vegas, like advanced movie screenings you can get passes for online.
Unfortunately, most of these things are not baby-friendly. Sitter is not an option, personal preference.
We were talking about going to a drive-in movie the other day, as we would be in the car and if the baby started crying it's simply a matter of rolling up the windows and tending to him. Maybe we'll be able to do that soon.
I find myself not even wanting to think about this today. I just want to push it all aside and see how today goes, then tomorrow, reevaluate, and let him know that it will not work this way.
I appreciate all your responses, though I wonder if I may be making it look worse than it is.
Then I wonder if I just can't see it being as bad because I'm in it.
ugh. much ugh.