A number of things about your story scream classic abuser.
- He doesn't want you involved in the finances.
- He has decided he'll come and go as he pleases.
- Any probem you have with his behavior and treatment of you, he is turning around and telling you it's your flaws, insecurities, faults, contrivances, etc.
- It bothers me greatly that amidst the financial issues, he has money to date other women but won't even commit to taking you out.
This guy is neglecting you, doing as he damn well pleases, ignoring any needs you might have, and he's got you
trying to help him
cope with his poor little wounded heart because women are blowing him off. Maybe they see something in him that turns them off? I know I do.
I see a lot
of my 23 year marriage in what you're describing. Great guy. Everyone loved him. Brought me flowers. Never forgot my birthday or anniversaries. But the rest was there, too. I know I'm just a stranger on the internet. I know it's impossible to really understand a situation or person fully from what we read here. But based on what I'm seeing, I'd say pack up your baby and leave. File for child support. You don't need this.
You deserve better.