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Old 09-24-2012, 06:01 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,224

Today we were texting while he was on lunch, and he opened up a tiny bit.
Told me it was flaky girls, finances, and some other things getting him down.
He did ask me why I would think it's something I did, and why I'd be upset about it now, but that doesn't help me at all as sometimes he asks me why or whether I think he should be upset when he already is.
I do not hear you answering the questions.

1) Why do you think it is something you did?

2) Why are you upset about it now?

3) When he asks you for feedback/reality check -- why not tell him what you think?

You sound very passive in your style. Do you avoid conflict?

He doesn't like me worrying about our finances, because it stresses me out when I do. So I let him deal with it all
I don't get that. Are you saying you would rather have him deal with finances so you don't have to deal with learning stress management so you can be a part of the conversation for your financial health as a couple?

We don't usually talk about the girls he dates because the topic is not a pleasant one for me, though I've been more inquisitive the last couple days, thinking maybe it would help since I've been pretty down lately. It did help a bit.
That's good that you are trying. Perhaps something from practical polyamory would help you.

But if it boils down to this...

I don't like it, I'll admit it. It makes me all kinds of uncomfortable. I'm working on it, though. I love him, so I try.
Then why are you together in an Open Marriage? Would you be better Closed?

What does working on it mean if you don't share in his inner life and talk about things? Share your OWN inner life?

Don't compromise yourself if you are not happy and thriving in the open relationship.

Between the isolation from family and friends, a young child in the home, and the shaky communication between you -- sort yourselves out first.

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