Wow that is some advice, umm I haven't really thought about the whole her going down on me thing I have but I haven't .
I think I would like this of course I mean who wouldn't. But i am ok if it takes her time to reciprocate that. I've only done it twice and am not really sure it is for me maybe though I mean I never thought I would do that anyway so surprise.
After speaking to both gf and hubby I just needed to be reassured. I needed to know he still loved me and that she loved me too and isn't interested in doing a 1 on 1 with him she also apologized for not being there and hurting my feelers. Hubby has agreed to back things up to where I'm comfortable. I understand now after actually communicating with him he has friends feelings for her and a fantasy of it would be cool if he were able to be with her then tell me about it, I dont find this to be a turn on sorry I'd like to and maybe one day I will but she and I both feel girl on girl way hotter and way hotter to talk about to hubby so, right now I think things are mending I feel calmer about the situation than I have in weeks and am starting to be able to let some of my hurt go.
I really needed to stop being mad at myself also for not listening to hubby when he was trying to tell me to take things slower we both moved very fast so now we have backed up and are sorta starting over, with good communication between the three of us not just me to her or me to my hubby or her to my hubby.
I need to trust that neither of them is trying to hurt me and thats a scary thing to have to trust not just one person but two.
I think it has also helped me tremendously to know how she feels towards me, its nice to hear you are loved.
So we will just go from here that is all we can do, and try for better more honest communication on all sides.