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Old 09-23-2012, 10:42 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Location: The Big Apple
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So, I had temporarily closed my OKC account early in the year. I'd reinstated it once just to login and get someone's email address that I only had in my messages. During that week they require before you close it again, I received a few messages but never looked at them. I only discovered them the other day when I reinstated my OKC account to start looking again. So, I noticed a message from a few months ago that I had missed before. The guy had sent a very lovely message, so I took a shot and messaged him all these months later - and he wrote back! I dig his vibe, except for one thing: he mentioned sex in his message.

I usually bristle when guys do that. I feel like, okay, we're here for dating and relationships, of course sex is part of that, why mention it? Is that all you're after? Now, he wasn't creepy, and was just responding to something I had stated in my profile, which prompted him to bring up the subject of sex. But still, I don't feel that is proper.

So, I'm taking a poll - when you contact people on OKC, do you mind discussing sex early on in an email exchange? Or do you welcome it or even bring it up yourself?
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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