hey now, I was all warm loves and understanding and wanting her to have exactly what she wants when she first approached me about this. yes, you need to get your work done, if we see each other as we did before you started dating stine one month ago, stine will get upset, and it will freak you out such that you can't focus on work and it will be very hard. ok, have the space to get the work done.
2 weeks into the break, she and stine were having lots of time together, and in the last week spent 3 days together (no work done). so, that's when I got upset.
I wished she would have drawn some lines around our relationship with stine and said essentially, 'this is my life, I am seeing this person, here's exactly what it looks like, I have everything else for you.' instead, I feel like stine got upset, and she put our time together up on the table as negotiable...
I had requested to meet stine, and help make ze feel comfortable and to know that I really am invested in loop having a wonderful primary (which I am, but now I feel like it's a threat). but stine didn't want to meet me one on one. and then I was asked to meet ze in a large group setting, after which ze and loop went home together. I specifically asked not to do this, but because of circumstances, I pretty much had to. it was after that (the next day), when I started to feel really shitty.
and, my nasty messages aren't mean, they're just stressful to loop...
I hear what you all are saying and thank you. my honest feeling is that I want loop and stine to work out; stine sounds like a wonderful person. but I feel very threatened by their relationship now, and I don't feel like loop is protecting ours, as I have over the years many many times. I think part of me is trying to figure out when enough is enough and when I should just exit the situation. I doubt that time is happening just yet.