Originally Posted by nicitiesoflife
His reply was "It's all cool man." and "If I got mad about every guy that liked DM, I wouldn't keep any friends at all. It's fine."
I think you and your wife need to sit down and discuss whether poly is something you're interested in (even if it doesn't happen with this couple?)
and then you and TM need to sit down and clarify your feelings. because the above to me doesn't scream 'lets have poly relationships'. it screams 'i know my wife's hot, and i can't fault my friends for thinking so too'.
And ask DM. even if as suggested, its just 'are you flirting with me'. and try to open the communication there.
This cannot work for you guys if you're not communicating. [maybe you have really spelled it out already together, but to me, reading your OP it doesn't sound like you've gone through the dot points and discussed it all, made sure its all above board etc. which is what i think is the most important part! don't base your decisions on statements made via a third party]