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Old 09-23-2012, 05:44 AM
squirtteacher88 squirtteacher88 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 7
Default Where do you find that perfect secondary?

Hello,

I'm fairly new to the poly community and honestly still discovering a lot about myself and my wife and what we want. The other day we had a very in depth discussion about poly and agreed we'd like a trinogamous relationship with a third woman. We have a really solid idea of what we're looking for and what we'd like but don't know the first thing about where to look for someone like that. We're both very busy, she with our son and her makeup business and me with my work/two other businesses. We'd love to find someone who can bring extra laughter and happiness into our lives and who inspires us both... someone who we can be intimate with one-on-one or all three and without jealousy, and someone who can add extra support to our dynamic (running businesses and families is taxing... ideally we'd be able to support a dream of hers in return). And someone who understands how to be appropriate towards our existing family without being discouraged.

How do you find someone like that? We've tried and found someone who would work if she didn't have to go back home to South Africa We really hurt to have her leave but were understanding towards her situation. It's been hard enough to find women who are bi and open in the DC area in bar/club scene and we're sick of trying hookup sites cause we want a relationship and we're sick of trying relationship sites because there's very little allotment for our unique situation. There must be good places to discover other polyamorous people... we just don't know where to start. Every single woman we've found we've come across completely by accident and there's been years between them. Any suggestions to help us narrow down our search?
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