I have a friend who keeps referring to my soon-to-be-ex as "that prick" or "that asshole." I have told her many times that that's not what he is, no matter how shitty my situation is right now because he left. Today, she started in again and I just told her, "Listen, it does me no practical good to waste my energy calling him names. This is my life and I have to deal with it and move on, but I would appreciate you not do that anymore." She started to protest, but then apologized and shut up - I think because I spoke very firmly and directly.
I had a very difficult mother and had to tell her off many times. More than once, I cut off contact for about six months because she continued behavior I had told her I would not accept. When we are adults, we have to stop thinking of our parents as our parents. They are just people and, even though they may have birthed and raised us, that doesn't give them a free pass to run roughshod all over us. Ya gotta tell her in no uncertain terms that you won't tolerate listening to that shit again or you're gone.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Last edited by nycindie; 09-23-2012 at 04:11 AM.