I don't know what to say.
It's like she wants you guys to be tighter than it is. All you owe your meta is basic polite. You cannot force fit it into friends or best friends or lover if those types of sparks are just not there for you.
You sound like this on friendship -- If she wants to put forth effort, yay. If not, yay.
If she comes to family shindig things it's on MACA isn't it? To tend to her needs as her SO?
Even if you were being the hostess for the whole party, you can't have her as a clingon -- your obligations are to see to ALL the guests comfort/needs. (within reason) Not just one guest.