Originally Posted by dingedheart
The thing I found most troubling was looking you in the eye and using a loving caressing touch or physical attention to sell the lie. Pretty manipulative.
Thank you all for your responses.
Yes, this is the part that hurt the worst. I keep seeing her looking me in the eyes and caressing me while I KNEW she was lying to me.
She was OK with giving me time when I asked on Saturday, more or less. She said OK, and left it, and when she asked how much time I needed I told her I honestly didn't know but would keep her appraised as I went. It only took until Saturday night, I just need more time to identify and process my emotions.
I do intend to give her a second chance. First off, I love her. Second, we do have over a decade of commitment, love, and history with one another. She has put up with a lot of crap from me over the years as well, especially with my being poly and her starting from mono and all the heartache that has involved. She has certainly earned a second chance, but I am struggling to hit the balance between letting her know how hurt I am / acting appropriately with my feelings (rather than bury/ignore them), and letting it go so that we can move forward from here. There is certainly potential for me to just be vindictive and mean because I hurt, and I am trying to avoid that.
Thank you again.