Originally Posted by nycindie
My "issue" is about who they're attracted to or interested in. And for some reason, tangled up in that, is my perception that their masculinity quotient goes down. Just as Tonberry said that she can't fantasize about gay men because she knows they'd never be interested in her, there is something about a man being attracted to another man that takes away what I see as potential to be attracted to me. It's like, if he's attracted to other women, I know how to compete with that. But in my mind, I can't compete with other men, so as soon as I find out a guy is bi or gay, I lose interest.
Honestly based on the responses I've heard and read from other women about dating bisexual men, this is quite common. They mention the whole competition thing a LOT. I can't personally wrap my head around it, because if you think about it, nothing is a competition unless you make it one, imo. I feel like if I don't intrigue you off top, it doesn't matter who else wants your attention; I probably wouldn't have a chance later on in life either lol. It just is what it is.
But I might feel differently because I myself am bisexual, and Arii is pan, and nothing about either of those things make us NOT attracted to one another; it doesn't make him less masculine to me at all, just adds a dimension to his personhood that I hadn't been well-versed in prior to meeting him (still learning of course).