This is a lot of info here. My husband and I have been talking a lot about the situation and the direction we are going to take. Hours a day actually... so although its GalaGirl's favorite word... we are definitely not being "avoidy" anymore
To be clear... it was not a back to back thing of "oooh you caught me... how about you sleep with her and we make it better" Obviously this all has been a process. A lot of talking. A lot of arguing. A lot of feelings. Yes... a lot of apologizing. I have not been the wife I promised to be...and I am not denying that. The threesome suggestion came out later... after we talked about his feelings for her... and how the two of them never acted on their flirting. I know she is attracted to him... and I know that she cares a lot for him. With me caring for him, and also caring for her, and realizing he cared for her too... it just kinda... went that way. I wasnt trying to avoid or distract. I wasnt even trying to suggest it to keep things going with her and I, although I know it may seem that way. My husband and I have never been with anyone else... I guess I just wanted him to feel it too. And obviously was excited about the threesome idea myself of course.
My husband and I will continue to work things out and talk. We understand that we have a lot of things to work on in our own relationship. We have been questioning the idea of moving more into this whole "poly" world. Its an incredibly new idea or thought to either of us.
From our recent talk, we have talked about the idea of him dating a bit. It seems he's more upset about the idea that he will never experience the type of other relationship that I have more than he is upset about the idea of the two of us together. We realize there could be a lot of problems with this and are being very careful and thoughtful about as much as we can. I am sure we will ask for plenty of advice and thoughts here once we figure out what direction we will go in. Regardless... we will not jump into anything until we know we are ready.
It may not have been painted here very well... but I firmly believe in mine and my husbands relationship... along with our ability to communicate. Everyone knows there's always a lot more to a story than a page of text... and our story has gone on for over 15 years now. 12 of which we've spent all of our days and nights together. To say that we don't have a strong relationship would be crazy. This is completely something we've had no thoughts or experiences with... so its incredibly new for us... and we are learning and figuring this out as we go along.
I appreciate everyone being open-minded of both sides, and taking the time to share their suggestions and thoughts. Its nice to know that we have so many other experiences and ideas to help down this path.
We are leaving this weekend for a week vacation with a group of friends... and are hoping to have a great time and check out of this situation for a bit. When we get back... we will come up with our next step.