Sharing wife in the present haunted by the past
My partner of nearly 30 years, is falling in love with a female co-worker. None of us has any prior personal experience with polyamory, but feel it's the path before us.
We are immersing ourselves in the literature, namely the outstanding book Opening Up. I am enamored with the concept of compersion but have had more than a few moments of self doubt and fear.
If I have a question, it is this: How haunted should I be by the fact that, 12 years ago, while I was living and working oversees for more than a year, my partner left me for another woman. That relationship lasted two years, during which my ex and I had no contact. After they broke up, we reconnected.
We have now been married for 10 years and have two wonderful elementary-school aged children.
In the past two weeks, when I correctly sensed that something more than friendship was brewing between my wife and a married female co-worker, I was quick to embrace that budding relationship.
I want to believe my willingness to do so is a reflection of my intensifying love for my wife and an enlightened mind. But I suspect it may also be a result of my repressed fear that to do otherwise would risk my losing her ... again.
Since that one-and-only other relationship, my wife has identified as bisexual (to me but few others). She denies harboring any resentment toward me for all but monopolizing her sexuality since she became aware, as a teenager, to having one.
I'll leave it at that for now. Just wondering if anyone thinks our past could still be affecting, positively or negatively, our present and future.
Last edited by BraverySeeker; 09-21-2012 at 06:17 PM.