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Old 09-20-2012, 10:14 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by BlazenBurn View Post
My SO is delighted because he confided in me once that he wished she were more like me and encourages her to dress and act like me. I don't think this is a good thing. I think it's causes her to be insecure in who she is.
Your SO sounds like a bit of an ass.

I mean really. You meet someone, and they're all hippie granola. You want a girlfriend who's princess chic. Therefore, that person obviously isn't your ideal mate.

Or, they are, and you get the fuck over it.

What I'm saying is, this is all your SO's fault. He needs to take accountability for the fact that his attitude is hurting not one, but two of the women in his life.

You feel all annoyed because she's copying you. How do you think she feels? She's being compared to the new shiny thing, and told that she should be more like the new shiny thing. So she tries to become more like the new shiny thing so as not to lose her partner, and now the new shiny thing is mad at her about that. She's getting a raw deal.

Originally Posted by BlazenBurn View Post
They are both in platonic marriages with other people.
I wonder if it would be possible to speak with her husband about this. I'm sure he's noticed the changes too, and he probably doesn't approve any more than you do. Maybe between the two of you, you can encourage her to "be herself," which sounds a lot better than "stop copying me."

That's the other thing. You're making this all about you and how it makes you feel that she's copying you. I'm not hearing a lot of sensitivity for her position. What about talking to her about it in a way that's more supportive? Such as, "I noticed you've changed your style over the past few months. I don't really understand why. You looked fine before and you seemed more secure and happy with yourself back then."
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 09-20-2012 at 10:19 PM.
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