Have gone with her to therapy to discuss this specific topic?
Do the 2 of you have a date night ?
Have you heard of and or read Gary Chapman's book Love Languages....I should be getting a commission, for the number of fucking times I've recommended it here.
I guess they have some online quiz too. A quick read for both of you but might help you connect on that intimate level when in each others presence.
Trust me things can turn sour over night ....real sour
I will say the hating the partner is IMO the big stumbling block here. Their got the be a myriad of negative feeling thrown back on you and your relationship surrounding that situation. Perhaps try to untangle those hooks.