She is indeed in the middle of therapy, but I'm not sure how effective it is. She's also on anti-depressants which appear to work very well. When I'm around there isn't a problem, she's happy as larry - it's when I go to see my girlfriend specifically that things become difficult.
Non-monogamy from the very beginning. The word Poly came in a little later. But still.
Things definitely pushed over the edge - I don't feel like she treats my needs properly - unless I really push when she's having a hard time how I feel rarely comes into it. She understands that it's not fair to feel the way she does, but she's not entirely sure why she feels the way she does either. She almost hates my partner now, it's awful. There's no real reason why she hates her - she used to get along quite well with her (I wouldn't say they were best friends or anything - they are very different people and my wife has her issues with my partner - they've just never been much of an issue and are very superficial).
I try immeasurably hard to make things easy for my wife. All the time. I will move heaven and earth to make things okay - and yes, there have been some issues between us that we have addressed. But she doesn't always want to talk about said issues, and can be quite childish about the whole thing.
Urgh, I'm really sorry - I'm tired and this is coming out a lot more whingey than I had intended. She sees me having fun with my partner as "not having fun with her". I feel really claustrophobic and unable to do things by myself, and I have begun considering lying to her so I can see my partner without issue. I am having severe troubles with being honest about the whole situation, when her attitude toward the situation is basically to become a deer in headlights and not really volunteer any potential solutions or situations where things will be okay.
The other night, she said to me that she set her personal goal to "not being upset when I see my partner" - and admitted quite frankly that she doesn't like it, but understands that it's the right thing to do.
But I don't honestly believe it will ever get better. How can things turn sour so quickly after 5 happy years?!