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Old 09-20-2012, 12:08 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
He said something along the lines of it not being worth the effort it would take to process and that it required too much work and he doesn't like work. Everything with me is work. I took this personally that I had made it that way and that if I had only been able to shut up and suck it up, he would be able to spend time with her.
Most of the men I have been involved with are like this. I have been told that if a topic has been addressed once, why do we need to keep revisiting it? Any kind of processing and talking about things again and again is too much, it seems. Ahh, it's frustrating to me when I have to pull back and leave things alone, but it's also been a good lesson.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Last week I had my first sex date night with Brad . . . the condom came off. We immediately stopped and accessed (again, as we keep up to date often) where we were at with tests and where our fluid bonded partners were at with test. All good... There are no outstanding concerns.
Okay, I'm just wondering - after stopping and assessing the situation, he just put on another condom and you continued, right? I mean, I don't see why that would have to kill the mood, it's just something that happens sometimes. I'm not even sure I would tell other lovers that a condom came off unless the guy came while it wasn't on him. Oh, is that what happened? I'm only asking because I am really curious how other people handle these things.
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An excellent blog post against hierarchy in polyamory: http://solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-i...short-version/
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