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Old 09-19-2012, 10:29 PM
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rory rory is offline
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I talked with Mya about my feelings around her relationship with Bob (fwb is still relationship) a while ago. I'll let her write about what she got out of it but I'll write about the feelings I've had.

At times, when Mya has talked to me about her relationship with Bob, I've felt uncomfortable. Sometimes she feels hurt about the way they interact/communicate, and it seems like there's a bit of this dynamic where she chases him and doesn't get what she wants in the relationship. Some of my discomfort has come directly from her feelings ("she is hurt, he must not be a good match/person") but some of it has also come from fear ("what does it tell me about her that she chooses to have this relationship, what if she isn't who I expect her to be or I can no longer trust her as much").

Note, all of the above are gut feelings I'm describing rather than things I actually believe. Rationally, I would not come to those kind of conclusions without some substantial evidence. And I don't follow those feelings in my actions. However, they also make it hard for me to offer much input around the issue since I feel I can't assess my own objectivity.

Anyway, I did decide that I will try to listen more and not mind if I don't have anything much to comment (which is not how I usually roll). But also, after talking with Mya we did come to the conclusion that maybe the slightly negative view I have about her relationship with Bob, and about his compatibility to her (which then leads to bias in any comments I might make about the whole thing), is coming from the fact that while she has told me some nice and sweet stuff, she has also told me much of the difficult stuff in detail. So, maybe there's also something to think about right there.

Don't know if this is very clear, but off to bed now.
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