I am Sweetheart, and I have been living a poly lifestyle since 1994.
I found out about poly from the book "Love Without Limits", which I found in a bookstore and bought without realizing what it was about! Reading it opened my mind to the concept, but I didn't think I would ever actually live that kind of life.
Then in 1994, I made friends with a young woman who lived a poly lifestyle, and it was my 1st exposure to a successful poly situation. I really got to know her, and we ended up becoming best friends. After we had known each other for quite a while, she asked how I would feel if we became lovers. Actually, we had loved each other for a long time by then, so it was pretty natural. Eventually, she moved away, but we stayed in touch and are still best friends. All my relationships up to that time had been mono.
After that, I stayed involved in the poly community, and made a lot of friends. I have been in several different Vs and triads over the years.
I met my wife R
in 1996 and we have been married since 1998. She has had many lovers, both male and female, and identifies herself as "mostly lesbian". Together, we have been in several poly relationships.
We have been involved in poly for what seems like a long time, and occasionally go to poly events such as the Loving More conferences.
My Poly Relationships:
Lasted about 3 years. Not exactly a quad, but close. I was sexually intimate with one woman, but emotionally romantic with the other. The other man was sexually intimate with both women, but never both at the same time (both women were straight). He and I were never sexual with each other, but were good friends. Eventually, one of the women moved on and things settled into a V for a while, until I met someone mono and dated her exclusively for a while. The others in the V stayed friends with me for years afterwards.
I met a woman through a phone dating service, and while we were in a relationship, I met another woman, and continued dating both of them. They knew about each other, but never met.
I dated a mono woman whose friend admitted one day that she thought we were both hot, and wanted to do us both. More of a fling than a real relationship.
I was in committed relationships with 2 different women, one of whom had a serious male partner, and the other was in a serious relationship with 2 other men, as well as having a large number of more casual lovers. I was good friends with one of her 2 men (the father of her son).
I became involved with a couple who were close friends of mine. The man and I were never sexual. She and I lived together as roommates, but her boyfriend did not live with us, although he was over all the time. Later, another man moved in and was also emotionally involved with the woman.
Met my wife who was already in a committed poly relationship at the time. They referred to it as an "open marriage". They were searching for single women, but found me instead. He and I were never sexual with each other, but were friends. The V lasted for a while, but eventually broke up, and he settled into a new FMF triad which was sexual every direction, and has lasted for over a decade.
R and I met a woman while out one day, and struck up a conversation which led to us taking her home with us. It didn't last, but we gave it a serious try.
I had a serious relationship with a mono woman while married to R, and we sometimes all hung out together.
R had a girlfriend for a short time, and that woman had a serious boyfriend.
R and I had a great girlfriend together for a while, and we still get along really well with her.
R and I met an existing FMF triad at a poly conference, and everyone got along so well with everyone else that one huge relationship developed. It was quite something for a while there! Eventually one of the women voiced some insecurities that made us all take a step back and return to our old arrangements. We still visit them, though.
A very serious relationship that we all look back on fondly. We all lived together in a nice house, and took care of each other's children. Her kids' father (not exactly an "ex", but sort of) was often over, and we got along well with him. We still see her and her kids sometimes.
We all had sex together. He was much older than us. A very loving and gentle relationship, which still maintains a soft spot in our hearts. He left to pursue a mono relationship with an old friend.
An old friend of mine moved in with us for a while, and was intimate with R. We all got along great, and had many interests in common. He eventually met a mono woman and got married.
series of Vs
During this extended period, R had many relationships (and/or flings), while I had no one besides her. Mostly this was because I was now staying home to raise and homeschool several children, and just didn't have time for extra relationships.
We met a single woman and both totally fell in love with her at the same time. It went well for a while, but she was mono and became overwhelmed with the idea of poly. It ended badly.
R had a mono lesbian girlfriend for a while, and they got pretty serious. I never met her.
series of Vs
During this period, I dated several different women (most of whom I met online) while R dated no one but me.
Many of these relationships were brief, just a few months or so, whereas others were quite long-term. Some are still ongoing, to various degrees. Please feel free to ask me for details on any of these relationships
Trust, honesty and communication work wonders...