I don't think its a matter of either of us not admitting limits or things as much as figuring out what they are as we go along. I would not continue down a path that I knew my husband was not agreeing to. I have not continued on anything behind his back without his knowledge or with the intent of keeping things open for all of us. I think that as with anything, this has been an up and down process that just very recently has turned this way... the day he wrote this post. I think we all believed he was ok with everything until that day that something snapped and he realized he was not.
My friend has no idea that any of this is going on... and does not know that he knew about us before the threesome was suggested. I'm crazy nervous about that conversation, but i know it has to happen sooner or later with her. She doesnt want to make the dynamic between the three of us weird. But I agree that we can't go on without everyone understanding the full picture.
Thank you for the thoughts