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Old 09-19-2012, 02:40 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,444

Ah, my mistake.

Still, while I definitely think it's a good idea for people to actually consider the idea (rather than reject it without thinking about it), if their conclusion is that they couldn't handle it, well it's also better for the trans person if they don't try anyway. That would just hurt them in the end.

I personally don't know how I could handle a boyfriend with a vagina, all my favourite sex acts involve a penis and I hate toys. I'm not sure what we would be able to do and at this point I'd rather be friends with him. I don't think that makes me disgusted by trans people, or transphobic. And even if it did, there have been people who were disgusted by the idea of having me as a partner for something as ridiculous as not shaving. If it turns them off, though, it turns them off. What my body looks like does matter since that's what they're having sex with.

I'm personally not sure why it would matter how the person was born (if you give me a trans guy with a functioning penis, I don't see what the difference is with a cis guy) but I think it definitely matters what they look like right now for sexual purposes.

There is a lot of talk about not being shallow and stuff, and I used to think that being shallow was the worst, too. Result? I was in a relationship for five years with someone I wasn't attracted to, I married him, and our relationship just spiraled downwards, and the lack of attraction was both fed by and causing our issues.
So yeah, I used to think if you are in love with someone, the rest doesn't matter. But I don't think that anymore. I think the rest does matter.

With all that being said, I think it usually comes down to a case by case basis. Maybe if I meet a guy I'm attracted to, I have chemistry with, etc, then his lack of a penis (Be it because he has a vagina, or for any other reason, such as an accident or whatever) might be something I'd be willing to overlook. I'm polyamorous, after all, I can always get my sexual needs met elsewhere.
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