Issues after a long period of happiness
After a bit of advice. Let me set the scene.
I've been married to a wonderful woman (who always told me from the very start that she was not interested in monogamy - I found this rather confronting at first) for nearly 9 years. About 5 years ago, I finally found another partner, who I have been (during the ups and downs) ever since.
My wife has had a hard couple of years partner wise, never found anything particularly solid. On the other hand, I've been very stable for a while now. She also has some anxiety and depression issues along with a whole lot of other mental issues. She has had periods of great happiness with some partners, but it never seems to last.
Now, it's over the last 9 months that some real issues have risen their head. We had to move out of a house that we loved, and were thrust into a rather unsettled situation house wise where we don't really have a spare bedroom, out kitchen has been in a state of building for the last 9 months (nearly fixed now) - and finally we have had the added pressure of having to take our kid to school every weekday (a previous pressure that was a lot less of a problem). Since we've moved into the new house (and a little before we moved too) - my wife has started having issues with my partner after a long period of her approving heartily of my relationship, and being happy for me.
It has become increasingly difficult for me to see my other partner - I can't go over there without my wife getting upset to a downright volatile level - staying the night at the moment seems all but an impossibility. My wife is TRYING to get herself back into a headspace where she's okay with it, but she just doesn't seem to be getting there and I don't feel like I have the time to wait for her anymore.
It's not the sort of situation where I can just leave, because I have a son who needs caring for (and when my wife is out of it she doesn't really keep this up to scratch) and a full time job paying off a mortgage.
I'm a bit at wits end, and I'm looking for advice on what to do. I feel like I work immeasurably hard on this, and get nowhere. Help!