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Old 09-19-2012, 06:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NerfHerder View Post
Wow, I can definitely see how it could be read like that, but it's certainly not how I meant it. I've been (over the years we've talked about it) a little reluctant to go looking precisely because she does not have someone (nor is she looking very hard - she says I'm enough for men and is really only interested in adding a woman) but I do not want to be the one pushing her to let me get a girlfriend. She also knows I'm the type of person who tends to do everything I can to give her and my kids what they want and sometime skip out on things I need to do it. Therefore she's pushing me, but only in a good way. I occasionally need a push, and I definitely want another relationship.
Oh, okay. That's good - thanks for clarifying. We have seen instances where where some people push their partners into poly just so that they themselves don't feel guilty or like it all has to be equal at all times, which is obviously unrealistic and not a good place to start off with a new person who would rather be pursued out of real interest, of course. Glad to know that's not the case with you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NerfHerder View Post
I've had my account up on OKC for two months now and only gotten the one response. I suppose it says something that I then met her and went on a couple dates, but... it's still frustrating to not even get a response from most people.
Oh, that's no time at all. Be patient. Also consider the fact that you put it online in the summertime - people go away, take a break. Things may ramp up for you in the fall.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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