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Old 09-19-2012, 05:47 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,441

Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
That's kind of transphobic, actually.

My gf is transgender, but very much a woman. More femme than I am (I'm cisgendered, but fall somewhere in between butch and femme). Despite being pre-op, she is "very much womanly," and so are most transwomen I know.

I actually love androgyny and sometimes wish my gf wasn't quite so much of a woman! heh
I was surprised by your reaction.
As you say, you can be very womanly and still be trans. I don't see where they said trans people were not valid options. Only that they liked people at either extreme (very manly or very womanly) and not in the middle (androgynous). Which is androgynousphobe if it's any -phobe at all.

And even if the person said they weren't attracted to trans people, I'm not sure that would be transphobic. I'm not attracted to women and that doesn't make me misogynistic. You don't control who you're attracted to, it's good to know what works for you, and as long as you don't hate, insult or disrespect the people you're not attracted to, I don't see how you're discriminating against them by listening to your libido.

I understand it's an important subject for you, since your girlfriend no doubt has had to deal with a lot of assholes. I wouldn't date your girlfriend, but that doesn't make me a trans-hater (of course in my case, since I'm straight, that probably doesn't offend you as much).

I'm sure many cisgendered people are not attractive to the person who says they "like their men very manly and their women very womanly". And I'm sure many trans people are attractive to them. I saw no part of this statement saying "their sex and gender have to match". Only that they need to a) have a gender and b) be extremes of their gender.
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