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Old 09-19-2012, 01:43 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Hang in there with mom. So stressfull!

Quote:
Anytime we have had play time there has been no time for me to regroup with my husband and when ive asked for a regrouping there either isn't time, hes tired or I should just know he loves me.
You need the after care. Ask it of him. You MAKE the time. Skip the next threesome time to have DUO time then.

Love is a living thing. Neglect kills it. He is neglecting you.

Add that GF sounds like a "pillow princess" where everyone else does all the work -- you aren't sounding like you get all your needs met there in sexy time either.

So a lot of your needs are going on the back burner. Of course you feel blah. *hug*

Quote:
And as far as one of them being there with me while my mom was in hospital I asked hubby to take time off he wouldn't because he said he couldn't which is a lie he is an independent contractor he didn't want to go with me he says because he couldn't handle seeing my mom there and it reminded him of his mom who died when he was a kid she had breast cancer, this I believe because he broke down at the transport hospital we were first at.
Well, you can choose to be mad. Or you can choose to try to work around his hospital / death phobia thing. Can he be with you by cel phone when you have to go again? Will he come as far as the hospital cafeteria or the restaurant down the street even if the hospital wigs him out? Ask him where his comfort line is and work something out.

Quote:
Gf says she loves us both and has told hubby the 1 on 1 is not a good idea that she and I are both happy with how things are they are hot and exciting and comfortable. He is pushing for the 1 on 1 because he feels his window of opportunity is quickly closing. As she will eventually have a bf and our relationship will end and we will go back to being just friends.
He sounds drunk on NRE. It will pass. Tell him to get himself into balance -- it's fine to be all lalala clouds with the GF since things for them just changed with the 1 on 1, but he has to tend to you too. Like giving you 1 on 1 time to reconnect!

Quote:
Why was getting a piece of ass more important than holding me and telling me everything was going to be ok. And while he says it was just comfort sex and didn't mean anything it had to have ment something in order to even do it at such a time but i am to blame for that so i cant be mad at anyone for that but me.
Well, a lot of times after a death people make love just to feel not dead. To feel alive. I'm sure it is same with big illness. He has a phobia. AND you gave clearance so it is what it is. I'm not saying it's fun to feel or the best way for him to behave, but it is what it is.

You could choose to let this go and move past blame. You could choose to focus on getting YOUR needs get met NOW.

the need to reconnect with him
the need to feel close to him
the need for him to behave in loving ways toward you.

OWN that you misjudged that whole thing -- giving clearance at not a great time. How can you make amends to him?

But ask him for an apology for HIS part in the mess -- NOT tending to you when you are clearly hurting with your mom in hospital. How will he make amends to you?

This was not sensitive at ALL in how it was expressed.
Quote:
" my mom was going to live she maybe fucked up but at least shes alive"
If he meant it like "I am glad she isn't dead. Things are going to be tough but I am so glad she is not dead" he could work on his phrasing!

Talk to him. Get back into right relationship.

Maybe print the thread and have him read it?

GG

Last edited by GalaGirl; 09-19-2012 at 01:48 AM.
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