I am sorry you hurt.
Where you used to be like a square since you and the Other Wife were a link, now you are a flat line.
You <--> (wife <--> Him ) <--> Other Wife
That takes time to get used to.
You can break up with the other wife in that couple. You do not have to be in love with her if you are not. But I would not suggest making wife break up with the husband though. That is THEIR link relationship to deal with. Not yours.
You do not own your wife. You got all up in a link that was not yours to control. Apologize.
Why do you hate him? If it is your WIFE who is all caught up in NRE and neglecting you? If your beef is with her, keep it there and tell her she is neglecting you at a time when you are hurting from a break up and missing her.
Is he mad at you because his wife is all sad because of the break up and his gf is all upset too (your wife) and he is gone and helpless? While the ladies are all gloomy? Is that why he said mean things?
Can you ask your wife to enjoy her other rship, but try to understand that right now you cannot share in that joy with her because it's too close? And to try to tend to the relationship side that is
you <--> wife
a little better?
You see how it is when you force your wife to choose between someone she loves and someone else she loves. Resent-y. Consider working on your jealous. He hasn't done anything but love your wife. Isn't she lovable?
What is your jealous speaking to? Fear of losing your wife? I don't see how making her resent you is holding her close. It anything it pushes away.
DO you want to be in harmonious relationship with these people?
DO you want to be in harmonious relationship with your wife?
When he comes back plan to talk in quad and digest all the changes to the dyanamics. How do you all want to be together?
Apologize to wife, ex gf, and your meta (the husband) for blowing up. Ask them all for support/nurture in this hard transition time and tell them you hope to get to a place where you can be friends, but for now will work on getting to a place where you can be polite even though you are hurting. You will try not to act out at them.
You don't have to be in love with them or love them. Either of the other couple. But if they were good enough to fuck once upon a time as a swing thing, you can manage to get over your anger and manage to be polite to them like you would the grocery store clerk for your wife's sake. In time when the break up isn't so fresh -- you may even manage to return to being casual friends.
Work on that jealous -- what is it speaking to? Check www.morethantwo.com
for jealousy articles.
Hang in there!