View Single Post
Old 09-18-2012, 12:39 PM
Koala Koala is offline
New Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2
Default Hello and starting with a problem

Hi everyone,I`ve been reading this forum for some time now and Iīve finally decided to post as well
I`m a young woman from Switzerland,but I currently live in Spain. So as English isnīt my native language sorry in advance for any mistakes I may commit.
I`ve been reading about polyamory quite a bit and I really like the idea. Itīs been interesting too to talk about it with my boyfriend. Weīve decided to go step by step as new problems or questions arise. For now I`m really happy that we are so open to each other,that we can flirt a little bit with other people without it being a problem and that we are able to tell each other when we see someone hot So on that front all is well.

But there is a problem for me. I donīt know if anyone can help with it,I think it`s more a need for me to talk about this since itīs hurt me a bit. There is a guy I really like on the same forum me and my boyfriend use. Iīve known him for quite a while now, but we were always friends or just people who got along well.
But since about July we are talking much more and I really see him as a good friend. He is also a friend of my boyfriend and we all get on great. We still havenīt been able to see each other in real life yet because he lives far away,but we are planning to do so.
I started to notice that I really liked him very much and I feel itīs something more than just friendship. But I canīt tell what it is exactly yet because it doesnīt seem to be very sexual either. I think us meeting will really help with that.
Now to the problem xD He likes an other girl, which he also has got to know on the same forum. The problem is that she is only 15 years old while heīs 25 years old. She also lives in Argentine, so there isnīt any chance for them to meet, I think. She is also not very mature and downright manipulative and he is a person who is manipulated very easily. So my boyfriend and I talked to him about it,because we are worried it will all end badly and heīll suffer a lot because he tends to do that.
We werenīt in any way telling him what to do, just expressing our worries. He told her and the next day she wrote my boyfriend very angry and attacked me with something mine quite personal.
I had told the boy (Iīll call him Billy) what I felt for him and that I was a bit confused. I also told him that I had talked about this with my boyfriend because I want to be sincere with him and that he was the only person apart from us who knew.
It turns out he told her everything and I felt hurt because he hadnīt told me so. Am I right about this? I feel that if I would have known he would tell her I hadn`t told him so many things so much in detail. I donīt trust the other girl because she is manipulative and I wouldnīt want her to know personal things about me,because as I thought, she used it to hurt me.
I am quite disappointed with the whole situation,because I feel she can do anything and he wonīt even tell her anything about her behavior. I feel that he treated me like shit in this whole thing,he basically almost ignored me, I was telling him that I felt bad because of the whole thing and that of course it was also to do with me being very sensitive. I wasnīt holding him responsible for my bad feelings, I just needed some reassurance and some nice words. And he didnīt seem to care.

Am I overly sensitive here? Or is it normal to feel like he doesnīt treat me carefully?

Sorry for this long text, I needed to write it all down

Thanks for any opinions.
Reply With Quote