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Old 09-18-2012, 01:37 AM
NerfHerder NerfHerder is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 14
Default Dating While Married: How do you do it?

First a little perspective: I was never very confident dating when I was single - in the seven years I've been with my wife, my confidence has greatly increased, but I still don't really "get" dating. Also, our situation is a little weird (well, maybe not weird, but hard for people to believe sometimes) in that my wife particularly wants me to find a girlfriend (I do too, but she's actually been the one motivating and sort of prodding me to date).

I've made a profile on OKCupid, and most people either read my message wherein I state that I'm married and never visit or go to my profile, take one look at my 'yes, I'm married, my wife is <link to her profile>' and never respond.

It seems like (from looking at the stories I see here and have heard from talking to people on other messagers) that women will give a man a chance if he lies and claims he's single (and they find out later), but if he says he's married, they won't give him a second glance. I've never done that, though - it's not how I work - my wife says that I am honest to a fault (probably true, but I'd rather keep everything above-board so that issues are dealt with now and not later when feelings will *really* get hurt.

When it comes to people in "real life" it seems that the women I am most interested in are ones that I just can't seem to figure out how to break it to them that I am actually available, despite the fact that I'm married...

I am probably rambling at this point, but the bottom line is that I feel ridiculously frustrated with how difficult it is to get people to even talk to me and I have no idea what to do if I *do* get them to talk to me!

So... any thoughts, suggestions or experiences? I'd settle for a little commiseration!

Thanks ( =
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Me - 34 year old straight male
Wife of 7 years - 27 year old bi female

- CAUTION: May be scruffy-looking
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