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Old 09-18-2012, 12:51 AM
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jasaty jasaty is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 22

Thanks for your input, both of you. I truly appreciate all the help.

GG, you have some amazing advice. I'm going to go over all of it again when I get a few moments alone to really come up with a plan.

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
To me, that's too much pressure on someone that is perhaps already feeling guilty for "ruining people's fun".
Yes. Thank you for seeing it that way. How do you let go of guilt? Specially when you have done nothing wrong.

But, it's also important for the person who is not comfortable to be able to articulate why - to get to the bottom of what is causing the discomfort, so that the group can work together to find solutions. Don't make this a solo exercise, and the group shouldn't be labelling stuff as "your problem" - if the group is going to function then one person's problem is a *group problem* that needs to be solved. While this may well be one person having time to thing about it, the rest of the group can support that person by giving them the space that they need (without pushing), and being supportive in other ways. Sometimes the group synergy can be useful, because different people process things different ways - maybe by breaking it down as a group exercise, some idea can be found that the one who is not 100% comfortable would never have thought of.
I'm willing to hear what they have in mind that could help ease my mind. Like I said, I'm going to go through the posts again and see if I can come up with a detailed plan before bringing it to the group. Thanks for the help.
Sarah wife to J, girlfriend to T.
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